Thanks to Jrae, CCW, Pregnant Amy, and fuck me running... Jazzy!!! How you been?? It's humbling that anyone out there in cyber-land gives a flying fuck about my life, especially when I'm not sure that I give a fuck!

JRae, I've never forgotten about your promise to loan me a couch if I ever visit your city. I haven't had the chance yet, but when I do? It'll be nice to have a friendly face, and a soft spot to lay at the day's end.

Now back to my story, set in the present tense.

The eggs were cleaned up the next morning. Aside from a cereal box, the whole kitchen was tidy the next morning. Hubby took the 9-yr-old to his football game. I didn't go. Not ready to hang with the in-laws at this point. Hubby's told them nothing, and I talk too fucking much... best to side-step the whole land-mine, lest I say something that cannot be retracted.

He took the boys for the night. He offered and I said "Yes... yes that would be fine." Wishing like hell that I had something interesting to do! I instead chose to descend upon my teen aged daughter and her friends. They endured me, bless their hearts. Her friends are nice... we played charades, a board game, and some Wii Fit.

My daughter's best friend had her boyfriend come over. I cock-blocked as long as I could, but I finally excused myself so they could have unsupervised sex in my basement. I don't KNOW that's what they did after I left, so let's pretend that they read books and talked about their feelings! It was late.

And now I'm focused on the whole teenager thing. I have forbidden my daughter from getting the HPV vaccination or getting on the pill because I was afraid she'd feel a false sense of security and be less diligent about condom use. My daughter swears she hasn't gone "all the way" but I'm not so uptight to realize that she could be lying just to ease my mind.

All the women in my family have been early bloomers. We're boot-knocking, mattress-shaking, head-board banging chicks. It's all good.

I told my daughter this morning that she's getting the vaccination. I was honest... I told her my prior decision was fear-based and erroneous. She maintained it wasn't necessary, and I didn't pry. I just don't think she should lose her ability to start a family if a condom fails and she becomes infected with a silent, preventable, cancer-causing virus.

I stand firm on "the pill" though. Birth control drugs carry too much risk and I don't advocate monkey-ing with hormones. I know a girl (it only takes one) who suffered a life-threatening blood clot in her spinal column that was attributed to years of birth control pills. She saw three doctors before someone took her complaints seriously. She didn't smoke, but she couldn't breathe... and she was under 35 years old. Her tubes are tied now and she's on blood-thinners... at 37! The docs tied her tubes because the medications she requires would guarantee a high-risk pregnancy with a small chance of viability.

Why am I still typing?