Monday, September 13, 2010

Husband = downsized and working in a lesser capacity for a wage that can only be described as a pittance.

Daughter = Senior year, intimidating class schedule. We're meeting bi weekly to develop a budget

Boy A: Fine

Boy B: Fine

Me: LOL - that's what I really need to talk about. But I don't have any readers anymore so perhaps I should resurrect the old diary, and dip my quill in the ink.

Things are better with my mom, and way worse with my dad. My only grace is in knowing that my kids have a reasonable parent, two in fact, that they may interact with.

Today (tonight) I'm hanging up my scapegoat badge and all the accommendations that come with it. I fucking quit.

I don't want to be 80 years old, sucking O2 from a tube, and regretting the time I wasted pursuing parental acceptance.

Rachael is checking out.... and it will likely result in some tears. I'll be blogging more often starting today. Cheaper than therapy, and I'll probably be more honest in this forum anyway.

Let's dissect my brain and talk about it. I'll be back.

- As Always, Rachael

Saturday, February 13, 2010


If I commit typos, fuck you it's too late to apologize....

My clients love me and that feels good. Little sister is getting confirmed so I'm spending five hours on one the road - one way - to be there.

I'll wait until she's older to tell her that her big sister is an agnostic who thinks religion complicates the world more than it helps. But my sister is only 13.... my honest opinions can wait.

In the meantime, I'll come out unscathed by catholicism. I just hope my dad's nicer to her than he was to me. If not, at least she''ll know I give a shit and have the experience to empathize.

If the holy water burns my forehead, I'll reconsider. If my seat catches on fire, I might revisit some of my convictions. I know all the words, though... to this recited ceremony. I'll be able to blend. Hail some Mary full of grace... How come GOD only appears in tortillas and similarly innocuous places?

Destiny... shit, if I believed in pre-disposal I wouldn't even try! I might even kill myself to avoid the turmoil set forth by my forefatherly (and motherly) genetic donors. They don't suck, but I'm pretty sure they aren't playing with a full deck half the time.

I can't fault them for the challenges they've faced... but come ON... how much money does it take to realize that your problems run little deeper? Religion can't fix everything... actually, I'd argue against it in every case.

But I'm going to my little sister's confirmation nonetheless. She's just a kid. I even wrote a speech to encourage her. I don't reference religion in a direct way, I just want her to avoid the pitfalls of being financially gifted and lose her spirit (not to be confused with soul).

I'm gonna go take my clothes off and crawl in bed with my husband. Don't wait up. Oh baby, baby it's a wild world!

As Always... Rachael

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Hello party people!!

And by "people" I mean the lovely and talented Jenny Rae!

The agency I signed with has a bonus package that I just now became aware of. It's offered to all new agents, and I have three choices:

1. Two free personalized yard signs, free open house signs, 1000 business cards, blank letterhead and other stationery, and three months free subscription to a proprietary database that's VERY useful. (I was going to subscribe anyway 'cause it's only $15.00/month).

2. $500.00 credit toward... anything. I can use the money the help cover any start-up expenses I have. Board fees, training fees, promotional materials.... anything!

Between options #1 and #2, I would lean toward #2... cash credits to use in any way I deem appropriate to launch my business... but there's a third option that has me thinking...

3. 94% commission for the first four months. That's 94% of any deals I close between now and the end of May. It's a gamble but....

I already have two listings. And if I can close either of them before May, the difference in commission will be about $800.00. BUT, even though the market's picking up, houses are still sitting for a while until the right buyer comes along.

It's time to play LET'S MAKE A DEAL! Which curtain would you guys choose? I'm ruling out #1 because I've already paid for some signs and business cards and I budgeted for those expenses without any expectations of being reimbursed.

Option #2 would be a guaranteed benefit. My initial board fees and training expenses will be right around $620.00... if I could knock that figure down to $120.00, I wouldn't complain.

Option #3 has the potential the unleash my inner shark, though. Whether I focus on listings or buyers, I'll get 94% of my half of the commission, and that's enticing. If I have a hand in a single sale, it'll be worth more than either of the other options... but if nothing happens, I've thrown away $500.00.

Too many choices. Ugh. I'm up too late. I really hope my training is cancelled tomorrow because of the extra foot of snow we got. It's still fucking snowing!

As Always... Rachael

Monday, February 8, 2010

Okay, so....

I did it! Completed my course-work on Dec 17th... tested a month later. Because of the holiday fanfare, I entered January feeling as if I hadn't learned a thing about real estate. I'd fortgotten everything I learned in school.

So... I studied. I studied until the words went blurry (might have been the vodka). I studied until I got to the point that every new definition I memorized pushed another important factoid out of my head.

Listening to Zeppelin on the half-hour trip to the testing site. "In The Light" came on first:

And if you feel that you can't go on. And your will's sinkin' low
Just believe and you can't go wrong.
In the light you will find the road. You will find the road

I took a water bottle filled with green tea and vodka into the testing site. Didn't drink any, but I brought it because I felt so uncomfortable, nervous, and ill-prepared. Despite (or maybe because of) studying my balls off, I felt overwhelmed. I was comparing myself to Linus, the Peanuts character. I had no intention of using booze, but I needed a security blanket.

I was really fucking stressed out. I woke up at three a.m. the day of the test, and I couldn't go back to bed for fear of over-sleeping. I had cramps and diarrhea. I take stress very physically, which just proves that I've been living in my own little world for far too long.

It wasn't about the test. This wasn't about an exam that I could take over and over again for a nominal fee of $120.00 a pop. No, sir. In my head this test had become a huge turning point. It had the power to redefine me and recover me...

Passing this test was going to give me permission to fire Rachael the reclusive house marm and drag her out of the lonely comfort zone once and all!

EVERYone knew my testing. I was advised to keep it secret (to reduce stress), but I'm a fucking big-mouth and I told everyone.

I passed - yay! I scored an 82% on the state portion and a 99% on the national! Nobody else I graduated with passed both portions on their first attempt. Not only that, but I obtained two listings my first week on the job! Complete strangers whose houses had expired on the MLS... and I set the appointments and captured their signatures... all the while thanking them for giving me the opportunity (I was honest about my new-ness to the business).

By the way, things on the marriage front are rocking and rolling in all the right ways! Hubby has been SOO supportive through this whole process: helping me study, bringing me breakfast in bed ('cause I'd go to sleep with a book, wake up, brush my teeth, and get back to reading with no thought of food). Mr. Rachael has his flaws... but he really stepped up to the plate on this one and our bond has deepened as a result. Maybe that's what I needed all these years... just to know that he had my back.

Peace and Love,